I am not a fan of talking to 'experts', but a faceless and anonymous scenario like this would work I guess.
I am 23, just graduated from Uni and moved back to Nigeria last year.
I met Dozie in Houston while visiting a friend's family with her in 2012. He was Nandir, my friend's boyfriend. She had confided in me several times that it was leading nowhere, as he was going back to Nigeria, and she would rather stay back in the states. Coupled with the fact that her parents were not buying the idea that she was not marrying from Plateau.
I always thought Dozie was charming, but never gave him a second thought.
Fast forward to last year, Dozie and I met at a friend's wedding in Asaba. We both found out we were in Lagos, he already had a great job and I was searching for the dream job in Lagos.
Hung out a few times and now, he is asking me out.
I really like him, and he seems sincere with his feelings, but I don't know if I should accept, speak with Nandir first (they are no longer together) or just move on.
I have seen this kind of scenarios before and I always was against dating a friend's ex, but now I am in this situation and I really don't know what to do.
What should I do
Onome
Dear Onome,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you though to share. I will share my view on this and hopefully others will be helpful in theirs.
Responses will be moderated as we would really love to be able to help.
I would start by commending you for being sensitive to your friend's feelings, that counts.
I think you should speak with your friend ut of respect for your friendship.
However, the tricky part is ou need to be certain Dozie is worth his weight in gold, as you would be in a pickle if he turns out to be 'no good' and your friendship with Nadir gets strained.
I think you should speak with her, and if she is not comfortable with it, and its not like you are in love with Dozie, move on! There will be other guys, and friendship is not something to toy with (depends on how close you are with Nandir)
Most importantly, pray for wisdom to make the right decision, wisdom to speak the right words to Nandir, at the end of the day it wont matter what we say here on Dear Ryan, the decision is ULTIMATELY yours.
Godluck and send a mail to tell us how this pans out.